happiness

Happiness is a weird feeling. It starts in your chest then explodes in your soul. There’s just something about the feeling of happiness that is so addicting.

But happiness is short-lived, and it always will be, because in the end something will wreak-havoc and create a storm in your wake.

We do not think about happiness the way we think about love. We want to be in love, but we forget to be happy. Maybe we think that happiness comes along with love. It doesn’t. Love hurts, and so do people. 

People say that love is fragile, love isn’t fragile, happiness is. 

Happiness is like a thin string balancing your love, your hopes, your dreams and some days the string can be knotted twice over and other days the string can be just one strand, ready to break. 

It drives us insane, why we can’t find happiness in love, but we can’t find happiness in love because we’re not happy ourselves. We live for those moments where we’re happy momentarily and not happy inside because it feels good to laugh. It feels good to abandon all sadness and drown yourself in happiness. Happiness is a drug, and you are addicted.

-H.E

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Results Day!

Results day is a day that all students who have taken exams in England find out what they got. This year it falls on the 13th August (A-Level) and 20th August (GCSE). I  just finished my first year of A-Levels so my results come out on the 13th August. Am I nervous? Truthfully? Not really, either I don’t know what nervous feels like or I’m not nervous. I know a ton of people who are shaking thinking about their results and what they’re going to get.

So I want to give them a few tips to stay calm and not panic:

1) Do not think about it: I know this is probably really hard since you care so much about your results, I would advise you to immerse yourself in something you enjoy to take your mind off it (like reading).

2) Think positive: Don’t sit there calculating your results because it’s not good for you. No matter what happens on results day remember your results don’t define who you are and there’s always other options, for example, retaking modules to get the grade you want (A-Levels). For GCSE it’s a good experience and you shouldn’t worry too much about your results in hand, you’ve still got two years of exam to redeem yourself considering your results does not represent your true ability. Also, do not degrade yourself, do not sit there and tell yourself that you failed, that is the worst possible thing you could do.

3) Sleep: Since I went through this process last year for GCSE I think the best thing you can do the night before is just sleep. It will keep you awake and more optimistic for the day after and you may be surprised how it will change your view of things.

4) Be proud: And for the actual day of the results be proud of your results. You tried your best and that’s all you can ask of yourself no matter what they say, and what they feel about your results, it’s what you think about them. If you’re a bit disappointed with your results, ask yourself why and improve on it, make it into a positive matter. If you’re proud of your results and, lets say, your parents aren’t it’s your results and don’t be put down by them because you’re studying for yourself not for them and it’s your life not theirs. At the end, it’s you who’s going to be doing and enjoying what you do in the future not them but saying that don’t disregard them because they only care about you.

That’s the end of my tips that I think I’ve gathered from last year and the course of this year. I hardly ever become nervous unless it’s something that will massively involve my life and death and I know coming from an Asian background it probably is but as long as I’m fine with my results my parents reaction aren’t that much anymore after I’ve thought about it. I used to be so worried about what my parents think but it’s my life and although it affects them too, but if I came out with a degree that gave me a well paid job but I absolutely detest that job, it’s me living my life and it’ll be me who is miserable for the rest of my life and not them so I decided that it’s my choice what to do with my life and not theirs although I do take into account what they think.

Anyways, for everyone who is getting their results this Thursday or next Thursday or results whenever, I wish you good luck and best wishes for the future and for A2 students I hope you get into the university you want. And stay positive!

-H.E

Universities.

We’re nearing to the end of the year here in England and since I’m 17 I’ll be applying to university soon. I’ve taken the time to visit universities for the past few weeks and find out whether I’ll enjoy the universities I am hoping to apply to.

Oxford

The first university I went to was Oxford. Now don’t be mistaken that just because I visited Oxford I’m a huge brain box because honestly, I’m not. Trust me. I’m not.

Oxford was a school trip planned by our school. We went to Sommerville College and I absolutely loved it. I know what you’re thinking ‘It’s Oxford, of course’ But it’s fair to say before going, I never really thought about going to Oxford because I enjoyed London more. This particular campus was beautiful but that wasn’t why I fell in love with it.

At first when I arrived, I thought ‘It’s a nice place.’ It was quiet and almost serene. It wasn’t when we had a presentation by the admissions tutor that I actually fell in love.

When I say Oxford to someone we think: geniuses, snobs, hard to get in. Maybe true, I’m not saying it’s not but I did not see one snob at Oxford. Hard to get in but that’s because they’re dedicated to giving us the best education.

When the talk started the man talked about picking the right course. Our education is focused on what job we will get and not on what we’ll learn. Our choice of education today isn’t based on passion but based on employability. What the man said hit the nail on the head. He said, the most important thing in the process was choosing the right course. Do something we love and everything else will take care if itself. What he expressed in the session got straight to my heart, Oxford really was a place where education really mattered especially to the man giving the talk. They also backed up my theory as they provided compulsory tutorial sessions to help if you didn’t understand anything during the lecture.

Queen Mary’s University of London

The second university I visited was Queen Mary. Queen Mary was a delight to visit. My first impression of Queen Mary was- embarrassingly- ‘ugh’. I would give up a lot to take back those thoughts. I didn’t go to an open day for Queen Mary, instead I went to a Mathematics taster course as I wanted to find a bit about the teaching at Queen Mary so I thought it would be a better idea. It was a wonderful idea, I loved the experience and if anything it’s encouraged me to apply to Queen Mary’s.

The people there were absolutely amazing. I couldn’t express how amazing they were. The lecturers were wonderful too, they were fun and enthusiastic about what they taught and someone loving what they teach makes me actually love the subject too. Ironically, my favourite lecture was the statistics lecture but statistics is actually my least favourite module but I saw the passion my lecturer had for the subject and I found my enjoying it.

(I also found out the boards that go up to the ceiling are real!)

Queen Mary is definitely a university I am applying to because I just loved everything about it.

Royal Holloway

Royal Holloway was the prettiest place I have ever been, their architecture was something to be proud of and it was absolutely gorgeous. If you thought Oxford’s architecture was amazing, Royal Holloway’s main building was out of this world. However, Royal Holloway isn’t an ideal university for someone, like me, to study mathematics.

The first lecture was based on juggling, and how maths based juggling actually is. I found this lecture quite enjoyable as the person giving the lecture was funny. However, once we got to smaller group sessions I wanted to sleep and if they were the actual lecturers in the school, it wouldn’t be a university I would enjoy attending.

Overall, I would say Royal Holloway isn’t the place for me and I didn’t find this experience enjoyable or memorable so I’m probably ruling this university off my list of options.

University College London

There are highs and lows of each university some may outweigh the others. UCL is a dream for me, to get into UCL would mean the world and I would become a happy girl.

UCL is an amazing university, the student who gave us a tour did a great job, she was friendly and kind. She did such a great job of the tour and explanantions that I loved UCL. She brought us everywhere, from UCL Union, Gym, Theatre and the main building (which I adore, the architecture is beautiful).

The masterclass that I attended was based on statistics and to an extent I loved the style of teaching at UCL. i have to admit that the room that I was in was actually pretty impressive. It wasn’t all that special but to me it was actually pretty cool! 

However, the one thing that made me a tiny bit unsure about the university was the arrogance presented by some staff there. They may not have meant it to come of as arrogance but the fact that I sensed arrogance was the issue. Other than Oxford is – I mean – Oxford. The difference between UCL and Oxford was the air of arrogance that some UCL staff carried and when I mean some I actually only mean one but what’s stopping alot of other people being arrogant when one is arrogant, I mean you only get arrogance if you are around a sea of arrogance. Oxford, a top class university and famous world wide, you’d expect them to carry at least some arrogance but when I went there I felt none but at UCL I didn’t like the fact they were so arrogant, I mean they have the right to but I still didn’t like it.

Before visiting UCL I was 100% sure that going there would be the best thing that would happen to me but after attending this masterclass it has actually made me a little unsure about attending such a university. However, other than that I still do want to go to UCL just maybe not as much as before.

I have only visited these universities so far and I am really hoping to visit Kings College London soon where I’ll be hoping to apply. So these are a summary of my opinion on universities and these are only my opinions so I can’t say that everyone will think this way. My cousin loved UCL as he attended and he enjoyed every second of it so it is different for different people.

– H.E

Exams.

“There’s no such thing as a stupid person in this world, only lazy people.”

– My Father

When I think how close exam season is, my heart pounds. I’ve never been a stupid child but nor have I ever been a genius and I think that’s a blessing because it’s taught me that I have to work hard to achieve what I want. Sometimes, I do feel like the most stupid child in the world because I give up because I think about how I can’t do it and how I’m going to fail. Then I think how lucky I am to be able to have the access to education and an especially good one where there are wide range of resources that I can easily access and I feel motivated again because at the end I believe if I tried my very best and come out with a average grades, I still gave it all I had and that would make me content because I know I went into the exam knowing I completed the exam paper to the best of my ability and there was nothing else that I could do.

But, you see, that’s the problem I will never be able to go into an exam knowing that I completed it to the best of my ability because I know I could always do more. The times that I checked my phone for a few minutes, the mornings where I laid in for five more minutes could’ve been spent to do that tiny bit more revision and obviously the time that I use to type my thoughts up. I’ve even decided to restrain myself from reading because I know once I start reading my mind would be entrapped in that book that I wouldn’t be able to revise.

But all this is futile if I don’t get the grades that I want, that I so desperately need even if I was to spend that five more minutes revising or go into the exam fully prepared and do everything to the best of my ability if I were to come out of the hall on results day with my results in hand without grades that seem passable to my parents everything I’d done beforehand would be an utter and complete waste. I would never be able to bear the look on my parents face when they expected so much of me; the times where they’ve made me laugh and smile and feel the warmth that only they could give me, give me the love that I don’t even deserve and the least that they wanted in return was the grades that I produce to be good ones. It would put me in utter despair seeing that look on my parents and knowing that I was responsible for it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, and that’s why I tell myself that I have to do it, get the grades I want because I can and I’m not stupid, I can get the grades I want and I will get the grades I want. That is currently my biggest motivation.

~ H.E